I wound up having a conflict with a co-worker that escalated into wrestling match at our company’s picnic. Each year, UPS holds an event for the employees at out facility. It is a lot of fun with lots of drinking. This last time though, a coworker and I got into it a bit.
Barb is one of those people who seems to pride herself on offending others. Her voice is like gravel and she seems to enjoy others misfortune. Gossip and trash talking are things she seems to engage in regularly. Many of the other women who work here are afraid of her, not to mention some of the guys (but I am not). Barb is certainly chunky. She weighs probably 185lbs and stands about 5’11”. She is not muscular and doesn’t look fit. She is strong though.. hefting packages all day long for years and years seems to have done this. Barb has dirty blond hair and tattoos. Like most, I never did get along with her. She is a bit bigger than me.. I am 5’8” tall and weigh 150lbs. I am however pretty athletic, lift regularly and can bench 20lbs.
The picnic was being held outside in the back of our facility. There were probably 400 people with all of the friends and family who attended. As the day wore on, most of use were pretty souced including me. Barb of course was getting louder as the day wore on. At one point, she slapped Jenny on the back and made a stupid comment about the lost shipping records. I told Barb, “why don’t you just shut up.” Barb frowned at me and shot daggers of anger my why. Barb said, “you better watch it or I will pound your ass”. I laughed at her and told her, “buffaloes should be seen and not heard”. Everybody in earshot was laughing and seemed glad somebody was standing up to her. Barb said, “you’re gonna get it jackass”.
About two hours and another six pack later, I was walking behind the building to have a smoke. I turned the corner and walked straight into Barb. It was like walking into a brick wall. She grabbed my shirt collar and said, “so the jackass has arrived”. I told her to bite off at which point she pulled me forward to be right in my face. Barb said, “you do know what is about to happen right?”. I again told her to bite off but inside I wasn’t to happy with these developments as I was pretty drunk.
Barb got me into a headlock and bent forward. I grabbed her around her waist to keep her from taking me to the ground. Her left arm was powerfully wrapped around my neck. I grabbed her by leg and started to lifted up to try to get her off the ground and throw her backwards. Instead, she twisted sideways and flung me to the ground. Barb stood looking at me and urged me to get back up which I did.
We stood facing each other and I wasn’t sure if Barb was going to do anything else. That answer came as she punched me in the gut. I couldn’t hit her back but did rush forward and knocked her to the ground. This angered her as she snarled, “oh you are gonna pay for that”. Barb got up and charged me like an angry rhino.
We both tumbled to the ground and before I knew what was going on, Barb was sitting on top of me. I used my arms to suddenly push at her and almost managed to knock her off balance but not quite. Barb got ahold of my arms and managed to pin them to ground. She was looking down at me and with that big, fat mouth she sneered, “so who is the buffalo now you dumbass?”. I told her it was still her. Barb used her arms to pin my shoulders down and belted me a couple of times.
I was hoping her friends or nobody else would show up but of course they did walk to the back of the building just as I was thinking that. Barb called out, “hey look, I teaching dickhead here a lesson”. They all stood around laughing while Barb sat on top of me. One of said, “torture him a bit”. Barb was all too happy to oblige and began bouncing on top of me while periodically giving me slap. I was beginning to feel very nauseous. Barb and all of her friends were laughing hysterically.
I told Barb I was about to puke and maybe my face looked green enough for her to believe me. Barb got up and gave me a quick kick to the side as she said, “don’t ever fuck with me again or it’ll be worse. I guarantee it!”. She and her friends laughed more and then walked off.
All she really did was sit on top of me and if I wasn’t drunk she probably couldn’t have done that.
